Do you struggle with how to say no? I do 100%. I am a people pleaser. I hate saying no. I want to do everything all the time to make everyone happy. But something’s gotta give. Sometimes I have to say no. I have to purposefully pray over my schedule and for the power to say no.
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I have always been the person who quickly says yes to anything I’m asked. I will say yes to please even when I know my schedule is tight. When I do this, it almost always leads to anxiety, burnout, being late for everything and not fully being present.
Over commitment
Just a couples months ago, I found myself exhausted from over commitment and burnout. I was teaching 4th grade reading and writing and it was STAAR (Texas’ state standardized test) testing season. This particular week was STAAR test, my son’s 4th birthday, my other son’s 2nd birthday, Easter parties at daycare, I was sick, it was Easter weekend, it was my birthday on Easter, and it was my bonus daughter’s national basketball tournament about 3 hours away. To say my husband and I overcommitted to too many activities was an understatement.
I. Was. Stressed.
I did all of the things and was so scatterbrained that I didn’t get to fully enjoy them.
When you’re trying to do everything and please everyone, you can fully enjoy the task.
So, while all of the things we did were good things, it was too much and we couldn’t fully enjoy them.
Fast forward to the next week, I ended up getting super burned out and getting sick the week after. That was the natural consequence to all of the overcommitment.
I had a “forced rest.” That’s what I call it when life is too busy and God is telling you to rest and be still.
I have had to still the chaos in my life through rest and prayer to get realigned. It’s still a work in progress. I still struggle with wanting to do all of the things and say yes to people, but I’ve had to learn to say no sometimes.
No is magical. It’s freeing. It is life giving.
Learn to say no.
Practical ways to saying no
If you struggle with this too, learn small practical ways you can say no.
You don’t have to go to all of the practices to watch, or to all of the birthday parties. You also don’t have to go to dinner with people because you feel obligated or to help with the school dance because all of the other moms are. Make a decision to say no to something this week and actually DO IT.
Things to say no to:
- Birthday parties
- Dinner parties
- Bringing your kids a million places
- Staying for kids’ practices
- Any last minute plans you’re invited to
- Long distance trip
- Overnight trip
- Helping with your kids’ team
- Any obligation that is stealing your joy and wearing you out
- Anything that can be rescheduled for a better time
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Download my free prayer guide and learn the structure of prayer as you pray over your busyness and slowing down! Check out other resources I have to pray for your marriage and to have fun dinner conversations with your family!
May Heavenly things constantly interrupt Earthly things.
